Day 3 – When you Showed Up

My Dear Third Child,

CaraNewbornThose who say that birth order doesn’t matter, must have been born first.  We know better don’t we?

You were due to arrive in this world on 10-10-10, but you just couldn’t wait.  Instead, you joined our family in the early morning hours of October 2nd, 2010. Our lives will never be the same.

A few days after your birth, your dad and I brought you home.  When we brought home our first child, there were four doting adults and one tiny baby.  It was a different story for you.  I brought you in the house and you were immediately greeted by your siblings, who had been cared for by Grammy and Papa.  Once we settled in Grammy and Papa hit the road.  There we were; two parents, three kids, and nary another grown-up in site.  What a difference a few years makes!  I remember looking down at you, looking at your brother and sister, and thinking, “well then, I guess here we go!”


When you showed up our hearts got bigger.  It is not true that you have to make room for another child.  The part of the heart that stores a mothers’ love is limitless. My love for you was immediate, intense, and everlasting. The same is true for your brother and sister.  I didn’t love you any more or less than your other siblings, just differently. You were never last, never just another daughter, just yourself all in your own right. My love for you is all your own.


When you showed up I got more tired.  The work of caring for two small children was easy compared to caring for three.  The diaper bag got fuller, the mini-van got dirtier, my patience got thinner, and the bags under my eyes got so much darker. It has been fun, and crazy, and busy, and brilliant. It has gotten so much easier in five years, but I am still tired.Cara 3

Since you showed up the world has been brighter.  You are a girl with a quiet strength.  People have to earn your affection and smile, you don’t give it away casually. You carry yourself with a peace and joy that is beyond your years.  You have provided endless smiles and comfort just by being around those who love you.  You have walked alongside me during some really tough times. Your famous “bug-hug” brings delight to your family members.  Your caring heart sets you apart.

Cara 2

Since you showed up, I have become a different kind of mom.  You receive parenting from a “third-time-mom.”  This is a unique variety of supervision.  It’s a type of mothering that is less about milestones and more about presence.  It’s more about surviving, and less about achievement.  It’s much less about cleanliness and bedtime, flashcards and matching outfits.  It is much more about delighting in who you are, and giving you freedom to show me the way. You have always been loved and cared for, but you haven’t been pushed.  Amazingly, you still bloom, all in your own time.  Maybe that’s how it is supposed to be.


Cara, when you showed up, I did know you would be my last child.  I didn’t know that three short years later our family would fall apart.  I didn’t know that you would spend more than your fair share of days watching your mom struggle deeply.  I didn’t know your carefree days at home would be shorter than the other kids, or that you would say good-bye to a carefree childhood so early. I didn’t know that caring for you would keep me going during some dark days.

Your brother, sister and I have delighted in you every day for five years.  Your jokes, your affection and your contentment are gifts to our family.

Since you showed up our family is complete.

IMG_1177Happy Birthday Cara. We love you.

Love, Mom


6 thoughts on “Day 3 – When you Showed Up

  1. Wow what lovely words a part of you lives in your special little girl your little blessing from God .l sit here on a Sunday morning at 9-30am listening to my neighbour screaming and shouting at her 4 year old girl so sad so very sad your words have warmed my heart. My youngest son now 20 came to take me out yesterday for a birthday lunch l hit 45 ☺ on Monday so happy birthday cara great people are born in October bless you all .love ya Paula x


  2. Happy Happy day You forever made this date special!

    My third child is so much more than I could have hoped for…even as my other two continue to be living proof that we have a God who is creative powerful and loving no matter what the world the flesh and the devil devises

    Every challenge we meet is in His sight and keeping no matter what Nyone else may think or believe

    In his foreknowledge He has provided for us and our children are indeed for His purposes for them…but such a blessing to the parents who day by day are blessed with knowing them and learning more of Gods wisdom as we seek more fervently to learn from His Word….heeding as we read

    How beautiful your children are and how blessed you are with their fellowship as they are with yours

    No infidelity will EVER supply what God has prepared for those who are missing out….no matter what they may “arrange” as “acceptable to them and their selfish choices

    Be continually blessed as you have the Lord work in You all of what He wills going forward and as you pray for those who have sinned against God and violated their vows

    No good thing will God withhold from them who walk uprightly


  3. Pingback: 31 Days of Showing Up | Singled Out In Colorado

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