I didn’t show up here yesterday.
There were many good things I could have done yesterday. I chose to pick one good thing over another good thing. A “yes” to one thing meant “no” to something else.
I said yes to coffee with a new friend. Yes to sitting at Starbucks with a real live person instead of my computer. Yes to sharing stories of encouragement across a small sticky table instead of over the internet.
I said yes to getting balloons for my daughter. Yes I will bake another cake. Yes I will set the table, stuff the goodie bags, and clean-up the house. Yes, I can do another birthday party on my own. Yes, it hurts my heart a lot.
I said yes to spending time on the phone with the pest control company. I can pay $300 for a rat extermination with a one month guarantee, or pay $150 per quarter for comprehensive year-round pest management. No good options there to say yes to!
I said yes to spending time catching up with a dear friend. Yes, I will try to show up for her the way she has shown up for me. Yes, I care about her. Yes I’m thinking about her. Yes, my time with her is important.
I said yes to opening my home: for friends, children, and neighbors alike. Yes I can have a party, yes we can paint, yes we can stay up late. Yes I can put down my phone and computer and iPad for a night.
Yes I can sit here and laugh and cry with you, and just be in the moment. Yes I want to live life, and not always convert it into words.
Finally, I said yes to going to bed. The dishes weren’t put away, the soccer uniforms weren’t washed, and the blog wasn’t written. And I slept.
Sometimes, showing up means saying no.
I hope I said yes to the right things.