Day 16 – The Five Best Ways to Stay Unemployed

Maria

5.  The Fitbit Challenge. Participate in every Fitbit challenge that comes your way.  You will be so busy walking everywhere that it will take up half your day.  It’s hard to justify sitting down to fill out a job application when your friends are pacing their workplaces all day. Every time you try to sit down and focus, your “friend” adds another 2000 steps and you have to get up and walk around.  Sure, there is no prize for winning, but who wants to lose?  If you do take a minute to sit down, you have to work on your blog post first.  Priorities people, priorities.

4.  Spray n’ Pray. This technique involves scouring the internet for dozens of new jobs every week. It doesn’t even have to be something you really want to do, just give it a shot. Fire up your resume, slap together a generic cover letter, and then click submit. Now you can just sit back and hope for the best. No follow-up required. Every Monday morning, rinse and repeat.

3. Broadcast at your children’s school that you are home during the day without kids. All of the sudden, tasks start popping out of the woodwork. Who knew I looked cute in a bright orange vest doing cross walk duty? Organizing workbooks, recess playtime, writers workshop (yes I see the irony), all of it is a perfect fit for me now!

2. Come up with two new employment ideas every week that are on completely different ends of the work-force spectrum.

Write a book? Yes!

Go back to nursing school? Yes!

Redecorate your mantle, and your neighbors’?  Yes! Yes!

As long as you keep coming up with new ideas, it looks like progress. You will hardly notice you haven’t decided on a thing!

1. The 31 day writing challenge.  Spend all of your free time writing about not having a job instead of actually getting one.  It looks like you do work when you show up at Starbucks, type frantically, make a phone call (to mom), and then sit back and smile at your screen while your stats light up. Theoretically. You will be so preoccupied with all of your pontificating that you will forget you actually aren’t getting paid a dime.
Have a great weekend.  Every day is a Saturday to me!! 😉
– Dana
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One thought on “Day 16 – The Five Best Ways to Stay Unemployed

  1. You are loved….I hear it in the posts that others place for you.

    I hear your talent in your writing of this blog….it is the blood , sweat and tears your book is made of ….its not your ‘future book’ it IS the book…

    Keep on this …it fits what ‘work ‘ is just does not show up with a ‘pay check’ right now…but you are building up ‘capital’

    You have what it takes…and even with the various things that you are dealing with …..

    Some of the ladies who wrote to the heart of mom’s in all kinds of situations were in the situations they wrote their books about….One that comes to mind is Jean Kerr who wrote “Please Don’t Eat the Daises”,” How I Got to be Perfect”, “Penny Candy” and “The Snake Has all the Lines”.

    Joan Rivers comedy came out of her motherhood experiences…

    Jim Gaffagan seems to also have found his comedy niche with real life experiences with his five children in a two bedroom apartment….

    You are being given GOLDEN material right now …Keep up the writing…it is keeping the flow going and more good stuff will come of it …

    Hugs

    Like

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