Day 21 – Showing Up for Our Kids

My son returned to school today after being out for a couple of days.  He came home with an assignment sheet detailing out all the work he missed. We started going over each assignment. Then he realized he forgot one of the workbooks he needed.

I said, “What are we going to do about that?”

Wait, am I still in third grade, or is my son?

I am not going to do anything. I am going to let him miss his recess tomorrow because he forgot his work…right?

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My second and third grader like to ride their bikes to school. It is a short ride of 0.7 miles through our residential neighborhood. There is one street to cross, and there is a stop sign there. Many other children and parents walk and ride along this path every morning and afternoon.

At the beginning of the school year I rode my bike or walked with them. Then they wanted to ride their bikes alone.

Hmm.  I wasn’t ready.

I would get them all ready and watch them ride off.  Then I would get in the car and drive to the school and wait for them.  I would help them lock up their bikes and make sure they got to their class. We would repeat the same drill in the afternoon in reverse.

After a few weeks of this, they really wanted to ride alone.  Is it ok?

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I am constantly faced with little and big parenting decisions.

When do I rescue them?

When do I let them fail?

How much freedom is too much?

What should I let them work out on their own?

What counts as showing up, and what counts as smothering, hindering, or coddling?

I don’t have all the answers.  What are your thoughts?

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4 thoughts on “Day 21 – Showing Up for Our Kids

  1. Hmmm
    I homeschooled my kids after two went to a great public school but when they were in 2nd and 4th we pulled them due to increasing curriculum content and practices contrary to our biblical understanding

    Prayer always covering them and daily time with me sharing Bible as I studied …sharing what God was teaching me in my own walk…they learned the prominence of trusting God and letting His word teach by the Holy Spirit what He would

    It is proper and right for parents to protect their children with information and practice in our own lives ….more than anything else our relationship and knowledge of our Lord works in us.

    In today’s culture in this is day calls for heeding what God instructs us

    He protects us but he gave children parents and will give you notice about what is needed
    Our culture wants to shame parents for watching over them and preparing them for life….not by exposures that others decide is OK ….often contrary to how the Lord instructs parents to do for their children
    God demonstrates for us….doctrine …how and what to believe …reproof when we have not understood or applied His wisdom properly and correction for us to know what aNd how to view things the way He does 2 Tim 3:16

    God watches over us but in some jurisdictions people are entrusted to do….when we are willing to do the least…faithful in little…He will make us faithful in much and do whatever is beyond our present efforts to obey Him because He loves us and we love Him

    Your care for your children is RIGHT and good
    Many may scoff at this and say it is “over protecting”
    In my experience and over years of striving to learn from the Lord I can say I believe you are never sorry for being alert and vigilant in things the Lord agrees we shoud be…especially as stewards of HIS children He has entrusted to us….because He loves you….they are the best ones for His purposes in you and your relationship with Him…..and you are the best mom for the children He gave for His purposes in their learning about Him

    Do all by His word and in His strength

    His strength is made perfect in our weakness….our need is His canvas upon which He will paint His masterpiece of what glorifies Him when we are submitted to doing what He has asked of us for our good and His glory
    2 Tim 2:15….it’s free and available daily 😄

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  2. I think maybe try the ride home alone first. That way, you are there waiting for them and know if they don’t show up on time. It’s trickier to send them to school alone as you won’t know right away if something happens and they don’t make it there on time.

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  3. When I first began allowing my son to ride by himself, he had to call when he arrived at school. There’s a phone in the school office. Would that be an option for your children? After awhile, I can’t remember how long, when we were both comfortable, we decided he didn’t need to do this any longer.

    Showing up for your kids is very important but don’t do everything for your kids. Encourage independence. Let them try it first on their own and then you can step in to help. But do get them to try. Don’t tell them they can’t do it. Why can’t they do it? Cause it will take longer? Cause they may get hurt? Weigh out the pros and cons and then decide. I’m a firm believer in letting them try… within reason. They know I’m their safety net and I’ll always be there to catch them if they need it.

    Good luck!

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  4. We never gave the answers. On the other hand many of us generally have a good handle on the personality types of our children, who will, who won’t!
    I liked the advice about going with the ride home, the ride to school might be something left for another day…after seeing the results from the first “privilege” granted! 🙂

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