Can I ask a favor?

Dear 2017,

I see you and I know that you are coming. Before we get started, I was wondering if you could humor me by listening to a few small requests I have?

A wish list of sorts, in no particular order.

2016 wasn’t bad, don’t get me wrong. I just want to make sure we get off on the right foot.

1. Miracles: I want you to know I still believe in miracles. Big time. I am wide open for you to send them my way. Big miracles, little miracles, everyday miracles; whatever you see fit. And then when they get here, can you help me to see them? Sometimes they are right in front of my face, too close even for me to focus in on. It can be hard sometimes…with all this rushing around. I joke that is a miracle I have made it this far. That’s not a joke. I believe that. It is a miracle. A miracle that many people played a part in. I’m open and ready to see more. Work your magic, for myself and for others. I know you can.

2. Parenting: There are three little(ish) people whom I need a lot of help with. Show me how to help them grow. Show me how to love them in a way that makes sense to them. Show me where I need to get the heck out of the way. Protect them. Bring them joy, bring them strife, bring them surprises. Bring me the stamina, wisdom and fortitude (and wine) to keep parenting through all of that.

3. The dog:  See item number 1 on miracles. Send one.

4. Challenges: I know you have all sorts of lessons for me this year. I am an eager pupil. Is it possible you could send them to me gently, preferable not in the form of a 2×4? Not like 2013 right? I have so much to work on, help me focus in the right direction. When you send the lessons that make no sense at all, help me to wrestle with them. Sometimes I can be stubborn, ungrateful and impatient. I want to lean into the challenges you bring. I know they are coming. Feel free to pace yourself in sending them.

5. Family: I love them. More than anyone can imagine. More than I want to admit. 2017, can you help me show them that? Can you help me navigate conflicts in a more loving way? Can you give me the right words at the right time, so that what comes out of my mouth is my true heart, instead of my hurt? I need them, they need me, we need each-other. That’s part of the design, I think. Help me do better.

6. Courage: I’m still learning. 2017, I am asking you to hold me accountable. Give me the nudge when I need it; to take the risk, to speak the truth, to kiss the boy, to write the book, to embrace the unknown. The courage muscle is one that I’m still learning how to flex. Help me keep that up. Remind me that I have the option to be courageous particularly when I am feeling the most afraid.

7. Surprises: I used to really not like them. They shook me up too much. I have had a lot of practice and I am getting better, but surprises are still not really my thing. I won’t ask for you to limit the surprises, because then it wouldn’t be a surprise! Just so you know how I feel about it. Do what you must. I will act surprised either way.

8. Love: 2017, I was wondering if maybe you had someone special in mind for me this year? If not, that’s cool. No rush. Just thought I would throw it out there. You probably aren’t even still reading at this point. Atleast I have the dog to keep me company, it’s fine.

That’s really all. I hope I’m not asking too much. 2017, I’m excited, really.

No matter what you bring I’m going to stick with you.

Let’s do this.

Respectfully,
Dana

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Where I have been and where I am going

I have been working.

I have been parenting.

I have been hanging up lights and taking down lights.

I have been eating.

I have been Netflixing, shopping, and decorating.

I have been decluttering (a lot), and cleaning (a little).

I have been relaxing, celebrating and staying up too late.

I have also been reflecting, thinking, and dreaming…about where I have I been, and where I am going.

One of those directions is clear.  The other is not.

I am lucky that 2 days a month I get a day off.  No kids, no work, no real schedule, nothing that I “have” to do.  It is quiet, and I miss my little people, but it is good for me.

Today was that day, and I spent it in live conversation. I sat across from people who have walked alongside me, cheered for me, supported me, laughed with me, and dreamed with me.  They challenge me, and encourage me.  They tell me hard things that can be hard to hear. They remind me of who I am. I’m grateful to have them. I hope they are grateful to have me.

Today we caught up with each other, and discussed the future.  With a new year comes new expectations, resolutions, and hopes. I don’t make resolutions but I do think about what the future holds. Will this be the year that I am: better, skinnier, more organized, better at laundry, richer, healthier, happier, more patient, well rested, well-traveled?  Probably not, but you never know!

I don’t know what this year will bring, but I am looking forward. Yes, I am intentionally looking in the forward direction.

And, I am looking forward to it.

2016, full speed ahead.  That’s where I’m going.

Happy New Year!