Day 16 – The Five Best Ways Not to Get a New Job


5.  The Fitbit Challenge. Participate in every Fitbit challenge that comes your way.  You will be so busy walking everywhere that it will take up half your day.  It’s hard to justify sitting down to fill out a job application when your friends are pacing their workplaces all day. Every time you try to sit down and focus, your “friend” adds another 2000 steps and you have to get up and walk around.  Sure, there is no prize for winning, but who wants to lose?  If you do take a minute to sit down, you have to work on your blog post first.  Priorities people, priorities.

4.  Spray n’ Pray. This technique involves scouring the internet for dozens of new jobs every week. It doesn’t even have to be something you really want to do, just give it a shot. Fire up your resume, slap together a generic cover letter, and then click submit. Now you can just sit back and hope for the best. No follow-up required. Every Monday morning, rinse and repeat.

3. Broadcast at your children’s school that you are home during the day without kids. All of the sudden, tasks start popping out of the woodwork. Who knew I looked cute in a bright orange vest doing cross walk duty? Organizing workbooks, recess playtime, writers workshop (yes I see the irony), all of it is a perfect fit for me now!

2. Come up with two new employment ideas every week that are on completely different ends of the work-force spectrum.

Write a book? Yes!

Go back to nursing school? Yes!

Redecorate your mantle, and your neighbors?  Yes! Yes!

As long as you keep coming up with new ideas, it looks like progress. You will hardly notice you haven’t decided on a thing!

1. The 31 day writing challenge.  Spend all of your free time writing about not having a job instead of actually getting one.  It looks like you do work when you show up at Starbucks, type frantically, make a phone call (to mom), and then sit back and smile at your screen while your stats light up. Theoretically. You will be so preoccupied with all of your pontificating that you will forget you actually aren’t getting paid a dime.
Have a great weekend.  Everyday is a Saturday to me!! 😉
– Dana

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